Monday, August 28, 2006

Possessed by the Devil!!!

Father Gabriele Amorth, who is official "caster-out of demons" to Pope Benedict XVI, has declared that Hitler and Stalin were possessed by the devil.

In fact, according to Father Gabriele, the entire Nazi party was possessed!

Glad we've finally got to the bottom of that mystery. All those books and papers offering one tortured psychological explanation after another concerning why Joe and Adolf behaved the way they did, and all along the reason was simple--- the Devil made them do it!

Pope Pius XII, sez Father Gabriele, attempted a long-distance exorcism of Hitler, but failed. (Gosh. I'm so surprised.)

Father Gabriele is the founder of the International Association of Exorcists (which, alas, seems not to have a web presence). In another article, he mentions that the Holy Father has performed no less than three exorcisms personally, and complains mightily that no professional exorcists were consulted when the new ritual on exorcism was written. Maybe he'd better try a long-distance exorcism of the College of Cardinals.

Father Gabriele is also against the Harry Potter books, claiming that behind them "hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the devil."

Hatred of Rowling goes with the territory, I guess. But I wish these people could point to at least a single case of someone led to Satanism by the works of JK Rowling. Just one! That's all I ask.

In the meantime, I'm tempted to conduct a long-distance exorcism my ownself.

"In the name of Reason, in the name of Science, in the name of the Light--- I cast you out! In the name of Franklin, I cast out ignorance! In the name of Darwin, I cast our superstition! In the name of Voltaire, I cast out bigotry!"

So . . . did it work? Or do I need to tinker with the ritual?

7 Comments:

Anonymous Pat said...

Marvelous. May I add this to my Book of Shadows?

7:24 AM  
Blogger dubjay said...

By all means.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Michael GR said...

Did this guy say anything about Darth Vader? I think he was also posessed.

Seriously, doesn't this declaration undermine the idea of people having free will, being able to choose evil, etc.?

6:13 AM  
Blogger dubjay said...

Well yeah, if Hitler was possessed while he was doing all those things, he's not at fault. He's as innocent as the driven snow, and is now singing in the Heavenly Choir.

I believe the church authorities will tell you that you have to be firmly set in the ways of evil for a a demon to take possession of you in the first place, which makes sense right up to the point where you realize that most victims of possession seem to be teenage girls.

I mean, what were those girls up to that was so wicked. Masturbation? Playing with a ouija board? Lusting after Kevin Federline? (Well okay, that's a mortal sin.)

4:02 PM  
Anonymous S.M. Stirling said...

It's really sorta futile to feel indignation when religious believers affirm their belief in the things believers in that religion believe... 8-).

I mean, they believe in heaven and hell and God and Satan and all that -- literally, the way we believe in atoms. This isn't going to change, probably.

11:55 PM  
Blogger dubjay said...

Indignation may be futile, but hilarity always works for me.

More hilarity will ensue if you look up Father Gabriele on Wikipedia, where he has obviously written his own entry, wherein he is described as a "world-famous exorcist."

If you can't have a few laughs at a pompous, self-important, self-promoting member of the clergy, what's the point of living?

1:07 PM  
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