Saturday, October 20, 2007

David Milch School of Screenwriting

Apropos our earlier discussions, it's the David Milch School of Screenwriting.

"Hi there. I'm David fucking Milch. You may remember me as the creative tour-de-force behind Deadwood, a critically acclaimed HBO series that ended prematurely so that I could launch John From Cincinnati. Some people say that was like ending Seinfeld in season 3 to jump right into The Michael Richards Show, but those people don't understand the subtlety and nuance of ten annoying surfers in varying states of insanity wandering around and getting into pointless arguments with one another until there's a clumsy physical altercation and a pointless "mysterious" ending.


"Exercise:

While sitting at a stoplight, Scott's car is rear-ended by a teenage girl who wasn't paying attention. Scott...

A. Calls for a police officer and writes down the girl's insurance information. The girl is apologetic and has a particularly difficult time coping with her role in the accident because her own daughter was killed by a motorist who hadn't been paying attention. (WRONG)

B. Gets out of the car, lays down in traffic and begins singing a song about aliens as the damage to his car fixes itself. The teenage girl places a hand on her stomach and knows in that instant that she is pregnant. A Latino man holding a sing reading "The End Is Near" gets peed on by a magic dog and turns into an Asian. (Ding ding!)"

5 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

Perhaps Milch has had a personality-altering brain injury and/or taken up glue sniffing?

3:56 PM  
Blogger Mathew said...

Milch has one more shot at redemption...the new police series that he is doing for HBO that is set in the 70's or 80's.
If that craps out like "John...", I think that he is probably done for creatively in alot of peoples eyes.

4:20 PM  
Anonymous xardoz said...

The link in the post is broken, but I thought I recognized the article - here's the original source:
Something Awful.com

1:54 PM  
Blogger David said...

C. God appears and explains to the screenwriter the difference between "lie" and "lay."

6:38 PM  
Blogger dubjay said...

The socksucking link is fixed, at least so fucking far.

9:51 PM  

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