Tuesday, August 12, 2008

First Observation from the Worldcon

Kilts do not make a guy look more masculine. It doesn't matter how hairy his legs are. Kilts make a guy look like a tosser.

The exception is if you're actually Scottish and are in Scotland, and you're a shepherd maybe or in a Highland regiment and are carrying a sword or an assault rifle or some other weapon that you actually know how to use.

Just thought you'd like a reality check.

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9 Comments:

Blogger David said...

There were a lot of kilts there, weren't there?

I thought it was very strange.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Michelle in Colorado Springs said...

And yet I saw at least 6 men wearing them there.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Foxessa said...

Gavin Grant wears a kilt beautifully. He's no tosser either. He's also Scots, so, well, nevermind.

Most men look splendid in kilts, just like most men (& women!) look splendid in a cowboy hat.

I have great sorrow in my heart on behalf of those who do not.

Love, C.

7:31 PM  
Blogger dubjay said...

I tend to think my legs are my best feature, and so I don't mind showing them off in shorts or swim trunks. But I haven't yet seen a kilt that would flatter me. And the Utilikilt, so far as I can see, flatters no one.

Designers of the world, here's your challenge! Can we demand a kilt contest on next season's =Project Runway=?

12:08 AM  
Blogger Laurie Mann said...

I saw a few non-Scot men at Denvention who looked fine in a kilt (apart from Worldcon, my choir director, who may be a very tiny bit Scot, looks wonderful in a kilt).

But some of them...well, yeah, you're right.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Ralf the Dog said...

Please do not discourage people from wearing utilikilts. They have tremendus comedy value.

http://www.ninjapirate.com/utilikilts.html

4:36 PM  
Blogger Gary Gibson, science fiction writer said...

I'm Scottish and have never worn a kilt, because I don't want to look like a bloody idiot. Outside of military regiments, the only people who ever seem to wear them in Scotland are - for some reason I've never managed to fathom - English people living in Scotland with personal politics that leaned fairly heavily to the right.

Outside of that, you only ever see them at weddings. Unfortunately, however, a lot of women appear to disagree with me on the kilt issue, and some men appear to wear them with relish on such occasions. They don't look good.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Shawn said...

Wow! I can't believe the animosity toward kilt wearers. I only wear kilts. Outside of being a piper, I have no 'official' reason for wearing them any more than I have an official reason for wearing pants. I have a few utilikilts that I do yard work in, but I prefer my tartans.

I agree that a kilt doesn't make someone more masculine, but if you're a masculine guy, wearing a kilt looks pretty masculine.

It is true that there are socially inept guys out there who totally screw up the whole kilt look, but really these guys never look good, even in pants.

Gary, you're right, most women disagree with your position on kilts. That could be a clue. I get more of my fair share of attention from women at the pub. Women like a well-built guy in a kilt, what's the big deal? If you don't like them, don't wear them. I'm sure there are women out there that share your disdain for them... somewhere.

I do occasionally get flak for wearing kilts and it's always heterosexual men, usually in cotton twill pants and tasseled loafers (now there's a horrible fashion decision!). Just like the dorks who look bad in kilts because they are bad at dressing themselves in general, these tasseled loafer types need to put others down to make their lame lives seem better. Why would I take their advice on anything? They're clearly not happy people.

Now that I think of it, the problem is probably that men don't wear them enough. Since it seems like men have to get up the nerve to wear them, when they finally do, they walk around with a chip on their shoulder. That's not attractive. For people who do wear them frequently, it's just clothing.

8:35 AM  
Blogger dubjay said...

Trust me, I'm not objecting that women like a well-built guy in a kilt. I'd rather they liked =me,= but fair is fair.

Who I have a problem with is the sort of kilt and kilt-wearer that cause women to turn away with a shudder of barely-suppressed horror.

3:39 PM  

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