I'm afraid we behaved badly. Or I did, anyway. I kept jumping around pointing to bones and saying, "Look! It's St. Matthew's femur! It's St. Luke's tibia!"
The only mystery was a kind of lacy gold house, in which were placed the mummified bodies of two infants wrapped in cloth-of-gold. There was no label. I finally decided that the house held the bodies of Jesus as a child and John the Baptist as a child.
Which brings us to today's Happy Holidays post. If you're getting bored with the same old holiday traditions--- the cards, the lights, the trees--- you could try something new. Try worshiping holy relics!
Here's the Smart Set guide to the Top Ten Relics! These include the Holy Umbilical Cord, Holy Breast Milk, and the Holy Foreskin. (Which seems to have disappeared mysteriously. Perhaps it failed to resurrect along with the rest of the holy remains, and the oversight has now been corrected and the foreskin has been translated to heaven to rejoin its original owner.)
Or you could spend the holidays the way I do, calling upon the Divine to witness my martyrdom as I try to assemble brand-new consumer products, none of which ever, ever live up to their promise.
Labels: holy relics