Friday, July 09, 2010

Shades of Porn

So I've watched a few episodes of Season Two of True Blood, and I'm beginning to sort out the whole idea of porn for girls and how it works.

Porn for boys, for instance, works as follows:

1. Pizza deliveryman rings doorbell.
2. Beautiful woman in negligee answers.
3. They have hot sex.

Whereas porn for girls runs like this:

1. Vampire rings doorbell.
2. Beautiful woman in Daisy Dukes answers and invites him in.
3. They have a long, complex discussion about their feelings, followed by,
4. Hot sex, fangs optional.

Have I pretty much summed it up, or am I missing something?

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8 Comments:

Blogger JRS said...

You're missing something. :)

-JRS

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Patricia Mathews said...

Absolutely. Step 3 is the all-important one for us women because it's the step that tells us the guy sees us as people, rather than as convenient receptacles.

Men have to work at getting laid. Any woman can get laid easily if she'll settle for just anyone under any circumstances; that's not a problem. But that's also being a public convenience, and very few of us want that, for obvious reasons.

Hence, the long talk about our feelings, meaning the guy cares about us. That's what's hard to come by for us, so our fantasies are about getting it easily, from a guy who'll treat us right.

Does that clear things up?

6:59 AM  
Blogger Barbara Webb said...

It's even better if the vampire is bringing pizza.

Or maybe that's just me.

9:57 AM  
Blogger The Great and Powerful Oz said...

I enjoyed reading the books, so I picked up the first season on DVD last fall. As a straight male, I'm still amazed that my attitude towards the series was that it needed less sex and more character development.

5:37 PM  
Blogger halojones-fan said...

It is amusing to see how often "porn for women" involves monsters biting you.

4:06 PM  
Blogger dubjay said...

I get that the discussions about feelings might help to establish the guy's bona fides, although it certainly seems to help if the man expresses his feelings in a poetic language that no actual male has ever uttered, or even conceived. I think =that's= where the biggest fantasy lies.

It's also interesting that once you have the conversation, you can have sex with other species.

11:26 PM  
Blogger Dave Bishop said...

Ms Mathews,

Your point about being interested in men who can talk about and share feelings is fair enough (sort of!) - but it doesn't really explain the attraction to vampires. I tend to feel that a lady who believes that being 'cared for' involves having fangs stuck in her neck, so that her 'caring' partner can feed on her blood, has got problems!
I suspect that what women really want is a man who is both dangerous AND able to discuss feelings. I would have thought that this is a fairly rare combination. If so, it's a wonder to me that anyone gets born at all!

11:00 AM  
Blogger S.M. Stirling said...

"Hence, the long talk about our feelings, meaning the guy cares about us."

-- or it means he's gotten good about faking it... 8-).

When I went to university (after an adolescence stuck in all-male boarding schools, English-style) I decided to make an anthropological study of women and their wants.

I came to the same conclusion that you did. Women just liked talking about emotions, both their own and other people's, in roughly the same way some people were fascinated by baseball statistics.

And they liked conversation in general a lot, particularly about the things that interested them, which usually turned on interactions.

In short, what (straight) women wanted was a man, with male body language, but who had a female conversational style and approach to personal relationships.

I applied these lessons and had a very good time in university.

Mind you, there was a fair bit of I'm-going-crazy boredom involved in the talking.

Oh, God, the talking... 8-).

12:35 PM  

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