We Caught the Terrorist, So Let's Have More Restrictions!

Some goofy terrorist wannabe named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab set off an incendiary device in his own lap on an aircraft, and scorched the living fuck out of his thighs. (Of course "thighs" may be a euphemism here.)

(He was on a watch list, apparently, so I have to wonder why he and his thighs weren't checked out before he got on the plane.)

According to the FBI, Umar is in custody and singing like a canary, which is what people who have inadvertently burned off their parts tend to do.

As a result of Umar's action, we will no longer be allowed to hold things in our laps during the final hour of a plane trip. For fear that we might burn ourselves. Or something.

“Among other things,” the statement in Air Canada’s Web site read, “during the final hour of flight customers must remain seated, will not be allowed to access carry-on baggage, or have personal belongings or other items on their laps.”

("You can take away my John Grisham doorstopper, sonny, when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.")

Note the genius move here. It screws with the passenger's comfort, stokes air rage, makes us hate the government, and doesn't increase our safety by a single iota!

Because, y'know, Umar can still set fire to himself 65 minutes before landing, and these new regulations won't stop him.