Annoyed by those pesky alien abductions? Worried that alien mind-control rays may be altering your behavior?
Well, now you can throw away those tinfoil hats! You can make your very own Thought Screen Helmet out of an old leather aviator helmet, some 3m Velostat, some masking tape, and a few simple household tools.
(Everyone has an old leather aviator helmet just lying around somewhere, right?)
Skeptical? You might well laugh at me, but how can you dismiss testimony like this:
"I have been abducted by aliens for years and foundstopabductions.com by a happy coincidence. The Thought Screen Helmet, invented by an expert, has stopped the unwelcome visitations and has raised me and my family`s quality of life. Therefore I highlyrecommend it."
But once you've got your helmet, be sure to keep it safe when you're not wearing it! Evil ninja aliens are always on the alert to steal your only protection.
"Additionally, four other thought screen helmets were taken by aliens when they were not being worn, two in Virginia, one in upper New York state, and one in Brisbane, Australia."
So watch out for those aliens! Especially if you're from Virginia.