One Lonely Star

I am rarely delighted by my one-star Amazon reviews. Especially when I'm taken to task for making up dumb stuff, when in fact I did scrupulous research and the reviewer didn't bother to simply google the topic and find that out. (Okay, that one still rankles.)

But at least I'm in good company. Jeanette Demain over at Salon has been brooding over one-star reviews of the classics.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte:

Endless, pointless description. DESCRIPTION, DESCRIPTION, DESCRIPTION!!! The entire book is written in stupid metaphors. The few places where there is actually any dialogue bore the reader to tears. Honestly, i think that this is dubbed a classic simply because it is older than sand.

Charlotte's Web by E. B. White, Garth Williams, and Rosemary Wells:

Absolutely pointless book to read. I felt no feelings towards any of the characters. I really didn't care that Wilbur won first prize. And how in the world does a pig and a spider become friends? It's beyond me.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith:

This book is 3 words over and over again: MY LIFE IS BAD. 500 pages and that's all it says. It's exactly the same as any other book about a poor family with an irresponsible father and a child who manages to be alright (Angela's Ashes, Black Boy, Riding in Cars With Boys) the only difference is - THIS ONE IS FICTION.

1984 by George Orwell:

At first I did like the book. Then it just started to suck right around the time when Winston was getting sexually involved with his girl friend. I hated the book so much that I forgot her name. The first hundred or so pages i liked, then it just got really boring. So II highly reccomend that you DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. And please for the love of God don't read that "Brave New World" book by Hoxley. It is twice as worse as 1984. To put it bluntly, DON'T READ ANY GEORGE ORWELL. Your just waisting your time.

Diary of Anne Frank

I didn't like this book because it was boring. That's all that needs to be said. It was very very very very very very very very very very very boring. If you have to read this book shoot yourself first.

The Holy Bible:

Man, this book is boring. All this weird stuff happens and it's harder to get into than Lord of the Rings. And what's up with the red writing and the LORD says stuff. All caps = rude, peter paul and mark, whoever the heck you are. And this is just badly written. James Patterson could do better. These apostles need to get a clue and hire a ghost writer. Even Miley Cyrus's manager was smart enough to do that. Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ, indeed.

Well all right, I rather suspect that last one may just be a hoax. But the tone is somehow right--- obviously it's produced by someone who's studied his fellow reviewers closely.

Okay, I feel better now.

[via kenneth]

My Fame Advances

The Review Fairy has been good to me this week.

First, This Is Not a Game got a nice review in the Seattle Times.

Fast-paced and with an immensely satisfying resolution, "This Is Not a Game" uses the latest true-to-life phenomenon of "Alternate Reality Games" to make its gripping story's grasp tighter, more relentless, and one you'll miss when it at last lets you go.

Then, Implied Spaces got a nice mention over at the Mad Hatter.

Williams has amazing ideas about technology and what could happen to society given the chance . . . Williams somehow mashes up conspiracies, zombies, AIs, government bureaucracy, planet crushing weapons, and galactic war yet it never seems absurd.

And then Songs of the Dying Earth, and my story in particular, were praised in a very thorough review over next door in the Wertzone.

'Abrizonde' by Walter Jon Williams is a highlight, featuring the besieged castle of Abrizonde and charting the fortunes of the hapless Vespanus who is trapped within. This is a great story, tense and dramatic with an amusing finale . . . Songs of the Dying Earth (****½) is an exceptionally strong collection, a rich and sumptuous banquet of tales from the end of time. The weak links here are not enough to dilute the impact of the best stories in the collection, and the best stories are thought-provoking, memorable and sharply funny.

And it's only Tuesday! The only way it could get better is for you all to go forth and buy some of my books!

Not Girly In Singapore!

This Is Not a Game has garnered a great review from the Straits Times, Singapore's foremost newspaper!

While all of this is interesting, without strong characters and an engaging plot, This is Not a Game would be nothing but another bit of 'fan fiction' about the joys of living online.

Instead, Williams' novel is punchy, tightly plotted – very tightly with a strong twist or two – and entertaining. There's a enough action and global drama to keep any thriller lover happy.

While it's not a particularly 'girly' book, the character of Dagmar ensures a strong female focus which mean readers of both sexes with enjoy This is Not a Game.

Like other speculative fiction authors before him, most notably William Gibson, Williams has managed to take what is happening now, wrap it in imagination and offer us a look at the future.

There you have it--- not only is it a great book, now it's officially Not Girly!

Meanwhile--- or perhaps even simultaneously--- Paul Stotts over at Blood of the Muse has even more to say!

This Is Not a Game is a compelling mystery, one that threateningly demands—like a militant nun, ruler in hand, your knuckles spread before her—for you to continue, to finish. Stopping, it’s not an option. It’s not even a thought. You turn the pages of the book not just to get answers, but to get the questions, also. And neither disappoint. There is no letdown, no clumsy resolution, no descent into lameness. Everything works, the story coming together beautifully like a well-played game of chess, Williams maneuvering the reader, skillfully. Like a pawn. A very happy pawn.

The novel feels fresh, new, totally unique. Something completely different from the tired, recycled space opera found in most sci-fi novels today. You’ll remember This Is Not A Game afterwards, for its distinct storyline, for being unlike anything else you’ve read. For being special. A rabbit hole, both deep and dark, leading to a dazzling wonderland, where a game imitates life. And life imitates a game.

I may be a militant nun, but at least I'm not a girly militant nun!

And, to cap off a lovely day, over at authors-books.com, we find the following:

So Walter Jon Williams’ This Is Not A Game lies. It is a game. A hell of a game, a fascinating mystery, and intriguing social commentary. Where every reader is a winner, no matter what alternate reality you choose to call home.

It's probably time for you all to buy new copies, so you can track down the truth behind this lying militant non-girly nun rumor!

Shirt Full of Goodies

The Good News Fairy has a veritable shirt full of goodies for me this week!

Firstly, the folks at conceptscifi.com have very kindly made This Is Not a Game their book of the month! One could have wished that it would occur on the month when the book is actually released, but one can't have everything, can one?

Nextly, Locus has Implied Spaces on their Best Reads of 2008 list.

And Locus reviewer Russell Letson has Implied Spaces on his yearly wrap-up.

So it's like I'm being friended by all these people, and I haven't even gone to the trouble of setting up a Facebook page!

Capsule Reviews

Brief takes on some media I watched over the holidays.

Tropic Thunder: Not only very funny, particularly if you know anything about Hollywood, but the best vehicle for Tom Cruise in ages.

Note: the movie got condemned by the politically correct for use of the word "retard." If this offends you, be aware that the word "retard" is deployed frequently in this film, along with a whole lot of other offensive words. (This is a Ben Stiller film, after all.)

13 Tzameti: Meh. I seem to be the only person who's seen this film who isn't raving about it. I thought that, for a film made in France on a budget of what seems to be a couple hundred bucks, it wasn't bad.

It's about a young man, Sebastian, working to restore the house of a man under police surveillance. His employer dies, leaving him (a) in the lurch financially, and (b) to find a mysterious letter giving even more mysterious directions to a hidden rendezvous. Scenting money, Sebastian takes his employer's place, and follows the directions.

This was a decent noir-ish beginning, if a little slow and borrowed from Antonioni's The Passenger (which wasn't slow, but glacial). I figured our hero would get involved in a complex, Hitchcockian plot, but instead he finds himself in a . . . wait for it . . . russian roulette ring! Most of the movie then follows the russian roulette game, in which twelve or thirteen candidates blow each other's brains out over the course of maybe an hour.

The film is very straightforward. There aren't a lot of surprises past this point. You know that Sebastian's going to end up in the finals. There's a twist at the end that isn't very surprising, either.

I kept comparing it in my head to the knotty little film I would have made from the same premise, and finding it not very interesting.

Little Miss Sunshine: Three generations of a desperately unhappy family head West in order to watch the youngest member of the group compete in a children's beauty contest. Each family member has a different philosophy of life--- I particularly liked the teenage boy who reads Nietzsche and has taken a vow of silence, and Alan Arkin as the hedonistic, heroin-snorting grandpa.

Funny, but the humor is very, very bleak.

Only Angels Have Wings: I read a Cary Grant biography recently that offered the theory that Grant was the first big male star without macho, thus paving the way for actors like (say) Johnny Depp. Whoever offered the theory hadn't seen Howard Hawks' Only Angels Have Wings (1939), in which Cary Grant out-machos a whole squadron of hard-boiled pilots. (Hawks, come to think of it, made something of a specialty of showing macho characters in ways that weren't offensive.) Set in South America, the film involves the suicidal hazards of flying the mail over the Andes. Jean Arthur plays the love interest, and there's also a nice part for a young Rita Hayworth. If you like Thirties melodrama, you'll like this.

Army of Shadows: This 1969 film about the French resistance was made by a director who actually served in the French resistance. Perhaps that accounts for its slow pace and the fact that no one in this film outruns a massive explosion or transmits vital Nazi secrets to FDR or is played by Tom Cruise. The film has a near-documentary style, and eschews melodrama whenever possible. I was never very excited by the film, but on the other hand I had the idea that it was very possibly true.

Grumped

I've been getting really splendid reviews for Implied Spaces, and it may seems ungrateful of me to quibble with some minor aspects of what are otherwise terrific notices. But that's exactly what I'm going to do--- and I'd like to think I'm not acting entirely out of ego (though of course I am), but out of an objectively virtuous attempt to set the history straight.

Here's a quote from one (otherwise delightfully positive) review: "He [that would be me] is playing with a fairly familiar set of SF tropes . . . Implied Spaces is very much mature SF, building on the ideas the field has been addressing in the past decade or more."

And, from another splendidly positive review: "There is little in Implied Spaces that will surprise readers acquainted with the post-human space operas of Iain M. Banks, John C. Wright, Peter Hamilton and others of their ilk ..."

Do I detect a theme here? The notion that, perhaps, Implied Spaces is treading on ground pioneered by other writers?

Again I hate to quibble, but may I respectfully point out that I've been on this ground for over twenty years? Hardwired (1986) dealt with immortality via transfer into new bodies, and it and its sequel "Solip:System" (1989) featured reprogramming the human brain to create new allegiances. "Flatline" (1988) was about nanotechnology and vast, inhuman artificial intelligence. "Dinosaurs" (also 1988) dealt with posthumanity, and was nominated for Nebula and Hugo awards. Aristoi (1992) was New Space Opera before New Space Opera had a name. "Lethe" (1997) concerned itself with immortality, space travel, and the process of history.

The whole creating-universes thing is pretty much mine, though I suppose it may lean on the last scene of the final Cities in Flight novel.

What I'm outright stealing is the Singularity, or at least my version of it, but Vernor seems to think that's pretty cool, and I reference Vernor anyway. And besides, after a thing's been in the literature for twenty years, it's fair game.

So there's my grump for the day, for all that I feel like I'm banging my cane on the boarding house porch as I complain about how the younger generation don't know nothing, anymore.

Learn your history! Dammit.